A Homemade Feast

Dinner was, as I expected, delicious and HUGE!! Nella really pulled out all the stops. When we walked in there was a table laid in the living room (their apartment, which houses 4 people and a cat, is smaller than ours in Kharkiv, but a little bigger than the apartment we will have in Kyiv). They have a small kitchen, which somehow manages to hold a stove (3 electric burners), a fridge (small - half size) and a small table with the same kind of bench thing to sit at that we have in our apartment. The hallway has some wardrobes and the living room has a big unit against the wall that holds the TV, wardrobes, shelves, etc. Against the other wall is a big sofa bed. The matching armchair (it's sort of a velour fabric) was also pushed against the wall but I think that was to make room for the table. The sofa bed is clearly Genna and Nela's - this is where they sleep. Every surface was covered with Yrena's (the 26 year old dentist daughter) stuffed animals - some of them enormous and some tiny - there were dozens of them!! The other room - the only other room, aside from the bathroom, which I didn't see - is quite small, much smaller than our bedroom her, has two single beds at right angles to each other in a corner, some shelves, and a small desk with Genna's computer and printer. This is where the girls sleep and Genna works - I don't think Genna had a separate office before he took the job as Director of the Public Defender Office. I'm not sure how they arranged things, but maybe Genna worked there during the day and then when they came home he stopped - or maybe he kept working while they slept.

Neither Marina nor Yrena was there when we arrived at about 6 p.m. Ed and I had taken the mashroutka (which I kept calling the matroushka until I was corrected by Genna's family and shown the error of my ways, with much laughter and many giggles, when Nella pulled out the Russian stacking dolls - the matroushkas!!), which we boarded at "the Monument" - Sovietska - the hub of downtown. When we got there at about 5:40 there was a very long queue - probably about 40 people - waiting for No. 291, our mashroutka. One pulled up almost immediately and everyone got out (this must be the end of the line) and about 20 people got on board. The next one pulled up about 5 minutes later, and the same thing happened, leaving only 2 people ahead of us on the line. Before the that one left another pulled up and we got on. There are 3 seats next to the driver, a bench along one side of the van that holds about 6 people, 3 rows of double seats holding another six people, and then a bench behind the drivers seat facing the rear of the van with 4 more places. Only one person stood. So I guess they are more comfortable than the buses and trams, which are jammed packed at this hour. Ed and I sat opposite each other so that I could grab on to his arm to keep from falling into the person next to me as we rounded the turns. It took about 15 minutes to get to Genna's stop - what I would describe as an industrial suburb - large Soviet style apartment buildings next to what used to be an electronics plant, producing parts for the sputniks and employing over 25000 people during the Soviet area. It's very like Soltavka, which we had visited early during our stay here. There are all these pipes, about 2 or 3 meters off the ground, running through the "courtyards" (which is the parking and garbage bin area - but which also has the requisite "playground" that I see in every Soviet housing development), and we learned from Genna that these are heating pipes which the Soviets decided would be easier to maintain if they were above ground rather than underground!!! There's a massive network of them there, some of them covered with some sort of insulating material, but most of them bare. Very weird looking.

Well, as I was saying, the table was laid in the living room, and was covered with platters of food and bottles of wine, Crimean champagne, Mirgorad water, juice, vodka, beer, etc. There were many cold dishes - all of them either breaded and fried or covered with delicious mayonnaise, or both!! There was fried eggplant with mayonnaise, fish cakes of some sort, buttered white bread with a smoked red fish on it, a fantastic tomato and cucumber and dill salad - the tomatoes were spectacular - stuffed peppers, and two "salads" which are collations of various vegetables (peas, corn, etc.) and eggs, and in the one case (Olivier salad) cubes of ham, and in the other (I don't remember the name of this salad, but it's always on a Ukrainian menu or among the prepared foods in a Ukrainian market) with crab meat. There was also the requisite platter of sliced sausages and hams. And these were the hors d'oeuvres!! I was stuffed - the eggplant was especially delicious and I had 4 pieces - I felt like a galupsey (a unique Ukrainian stuffed cabbage dish)! When I thought I couldn't eat another bite Nella brought out the main course - breaded and fried chicken paillards over mashed potatoes, and a cabbage and chicken heart dish (animal hearts are eaten here all the time - I see veal heart salad on all the menus) - I wasn't crazy about the chicken hearts, and only had one small one with lots of cabbage so that I could try it and look like I was taking a lot from the platter. We didn't have borscht because in between cooking all these things, Nella had to oversee the construction of a kiosk near the tram stop where she will have a little market (in addition to her interest in a hair salon, and a business that cleans feather pillows!!) So she just ran out of time!!

I know Gennadiy is crazy about Nella and his two daughters, but he is so patronizing and dismissive of them, especially Nella. The only thing he is openly proud of is Yrena's sports achievements - she is a Ukrainian aerobics champion and has competed all over the world. One of her stuffed animals has about 50 gold medals hanging around its neck!! Gennadiy is a fitness nut - he even told us (and showed us) that he has a scale (which is right there in the living room, also the bedroom), and that he makes Nella weigh herself everyday because she is "fat"!!! This woman is not fat, she is not even plump!! She's not skinny, but she certainly doesn't have to lose any weight. Both the girls have great figures, but he keeps telling Marina that she is fat too! When Genna met us at the mashroutka stop he was carrying a bag with some juice and bottled water - he waved it at us and told us that Nella was making him work (I guess he had to buy the juice and water), and that a man shouldn't have to do that. Maybe he's just trying to make jokes, but these are not jokes that amuse me. At dinner, as we would exclaim over the food, Genna would tell us that his friend's wife was a much better cook (at least Nella was out of the room when he said this!) - he did explain that this other woman was a better cook because she was a housewife and stayed home all day and had nothing else to do, which I guess is giving Nella some credit for being a business woman, but not much, and it certainly doesn't give much value to being a "housewife"!

In fact, while Ed and I were waiting for Genna to come get us at the mashroutka stop we actually had (another) fight about Genna. He thinks I'm way too hard on Genna - that I really "have it in" for him. I, of course, don't see it that way at all. Ed really admires Gena for standing up to the judges and police here, for being a really good lawyer, and for being a man of principle. I admire those qualities too, but frankly, I don't get to see that side of the man. I see how he makes demeaning and patronizing comments about his wife and daughters (laughing, it's true, but to me it feels like 'kidding on the square'), the man who exhausts Ed because he doesn't recognize that it would be to both their advantage to have a translator work with them on the legal matters, even though they can certainly converse together in English about all sorts of other things, the guy who insists on talking to Ed about business when Nella and I and his daughters are there and cannot participate in the conversation. I really find it hard to believe that he is such a staunch advocate in court when I see how he delivers some comments to the press at the signing of the agreement with the police - head down, very timid seeming. I also think that while being a man of principle is a very good thing, it's not so good if it prevents you from getting anything done. You have to find a way to keep your principles and get results. I had told Ed earlier how I had been listening to a reading from a book by a woman lawyer who worked in Iran during the late 90's trying to achieve some relief for the way women were treated in that society, and how she had had to figure out a way to get results while appearing (to the powers that be) not to challenge the system - he just got furious with me, telling me that I just didn't understand someone like Gennadiy. Well, maybe I don't, but what I really don't understand is why Ed keeps provoking these conversations. He keeps bringing up the things that are great about Gennadiy, knowing that I won't necessarily agree, leaving me in the position of either saying what I think or keeping silent. He also keeps bringing up the things that drive him crazy about Gennadiy, knowing that I will agree, and then getting mad at me for doing so! We have to figure this one out - or it's going to be a problem.

Ed knows I never give even a hint about these feelings to Genna - I would never do such a thing because I am genuinely fond of him. As I said, he is a really good soul - the woman thing is probably a cultural issue, not necessarily specific to him, and probably more my problem than his. That's why I wouldn't dream of challenging him on it. In fact, I usually play along - like when he told us that Nella had made him "work" buying the juice and water, I chimed in that this was outrageous, how could he allow it, in America no husband would stand for it, ha ha ha ha.

But again, I digress (and here I am complaining about Genna going off in all different directions). The dinner was a big success. At one point I asked Genna whether he had seen himself on TV on Tuesday night, after the big signing, and I think he misunderstood me, because he said "yes yes we have English channels" and he put on the TV!! So we had the TV on in the background throughout the dinner. But we just ignored it and talked over it. We all made toasts - I did "davashes derovia" (to your health) and Nella gave a very moving toast saying (in Russian) that even though she doesn't speak English she feels that she has made very good friends, that she feels very close to us, and that she hopes that we will always remain friends. She said lots of other things, but Genna said he really couldn't translate it, but it was the music, not the words that was important - it brought tears to my eyes. She really is lovely.

I remarked on a photo they had displayed of Yrena and Marina that I thought was great, and Nella went into one of the cabinets and brought out all these photo albums of the different aerobics competitions Yrena has been in over the years. These photos were really something - some were just great snaps of Yrena or the team doing their stuff, but others were quite risque - for example, the entire team naked in the sauna, Yrena wearing "body art," which consisted of a see through leopard unitard that was almost as if she were naked, and some other very provocative poses!! I think their culture is much less inhibited than ours! We also watched a couple of videos that Genna had on his computer of the two girls when they were much younger. There was one of the two of them doing a song and dance routine to welcome Genna home after he had been in Cincinnati on an exchange program - just adorable - 8 year old Marina playing the "groom" wearing Gennadiy's suit jacket and his cap that said USA, and 14 year old Yrena in a tiny skirt and tights playing the "wife" and prancing around nonstop. And then there was another when they were about the same age where Yrena plays the piano while Marina sings "Let It Be"!!! Sooooo cute.

At about this time (7:30 or 8) Yrena came home from work and joined us. Why, she wanted to know, didn't we bring Belle. We explained that Belle would be chasing the cat all over the apartment. That was not a good enough reason in her judgment! A sentiment that was echoed by Marina when she came home from her evening classes at about 9 p.m. - she goes to the Law Academy part time and works at the Academy full time. It's such a small world - it turns out that Marina also works for Dr. Stashis, the same man (the head of the Law Academy) that Vicky works for! Marina and Vicky know each other pretty well. I guess there really is only 6 degrees of separation after all.

Ed had scheduled an office meeting with all the lawyers (including the 5th PD who had just been hired) at 8:30 the next morning (Friday), and so both he and Gennadiy went easy on the vodka and we left at about 9:30. Nella insisted that Yrena (the only member of the family who has a car - she bought it with her earnings) drive us home, and she went with us to keep Yrena company on the drive back.

I was sorry to say goodbye to Nella - but I know we will see her again soon because Ed will have to come back to Kharkiv from time to time to work on the project here, and we will try to come to see one or two of Marina's volley ball games (she is a member of a Law Academy team that is reputed to be at an almost professional level). So this not really goodbye.